ok, so first off, i know i’ve been off the grid for awhile; but luckily for me, i’m off all week. so here goes nothing.
this will be a controversial subject, but today, i’d like to say that insecurities come from your significant other. yes, that’s right: it’s not your fault, it’s theirs. why, you might ask… let me count the ways.
(for the selfish sake of making this blog easier to write, i’m using the format of girl/guy relationship, from a girl’s point of view… but it goes all ways. i just prefer not to use pronouns like “they” ‘their” “them.” it gets confusing when everyone is “them.” also, in no way is this post a reference to my current relationship. i’m perfectly happy now, which is yet another another fact that solidifies my arguement.)
1. she underestimates your love/like for her- because you don’t show it enough. i know people say that actions speak louder than words, so if you’re not gonna say anything, then you better effing do something… otherwise, she interprets it as no love whatsoever.
2. she doesn’t feel like you have fun around her- because you probably don’t have time for her and would rather spend the time you do have with someone else. when you’re with her, you act like it’s a chore and the moment your boys call (or hell, even other girls for that matter) you’re up and at ‘em with coat and keys in hand.
3. she gets insecure because she feels you might have feelings toward other girls- this is probably because you talk about how hot other girls are around her (while at the same time are guilty of reason number 4. see below). “other girls” meaning not just a celebrity but a real life girl that you might actually bump into at the grocery store because she lives in your same small town/ went to the same school/ is a member of your family/ goes to the same parties.
4. in the looks department, she doesn’t feel up to par- because you don’t notice, even on days when she does try. if you’re going out to dinner or to a birthday party, she’ll probably dress up a little. you know, get a little gussied up for a special day. if you don’t say anything when it’s time for you two to step out, then she thinks she’s not as breath-taking to you as she may be to her 12 other guy friends that night that will, in fact, compliment her. but in her mind, these guys’ compliments don’t make up for a damn thing when the one guy that does count doesn’t say shit.
5. she starts to get not only insecure, but suspicious (dun dun dunnn)- because you’re doing some shady shit that she can’t explain. if you get pissed when she simply asks you where you’re going, you’re probably doing some shady shit. if you will not let her get within 3 feet of your phone, even if it’s just to hand it to you because it’s ringing, you’re probably doing some shady shit. if even the thought of her being suspicious about you immediately makes you defensive, then you’re probably doing some shady shit.
6. she doesn’t feel like your “number one” – because quite honestly, you don’t treat her like it. you treat your friends better than you treat her. when you’re around other people, you act like the sweetest guy. you sit and talk to your other homeboys/homegirls about their problems. you offer rides to them. hell, you might even cover the bill every once in awhile. but when you’re alone with your girl, everything’s split down the middle. you probably make her drive most of the time, you asshole. you don’t open doors or offer to carry things. you avoid going to cafes with her because you can’t stand having a conversation with her that lasts longer than 5 minutes.
7. she feels underappreciated- because she is. you could at least show a little gratitude when she goes out of her way to buy you something that you can’t afford. or when she drives an hour away to see you. or when she leaves work early because you start work late and you’ll only have an hour to spend together that day. or when she suddenly and unexpectedly becomes DD at 2am. or when she doesn’t actually tell anyone about what an asshole you are just to save face for you. just say the word and she goes out of her way for you. and you act like it’s her obligation.
and after all this, what then? why does she stick around? if you really were such an asshole, wouldn’t she just walk out? well maybe when she first met you, you treated her like one of your friends, not like a girlfriend. maybe she knew you for your good side. the appreciative one- the one that wants to be around her. because all of a sudden, she’s in love with a guy that doesn’t exist anymore. but she doesn’t realize it. instead she thinks she did something wrong to make you change the way you treat her. the moment you two become an “item” you become the asshole… and that is what makes her the insecure mess. it’s your fault, you dickface. word of advice: if you feel your girl is insecure, check yourself.
