so there’s this song on the radio right now. i think it’s called “pretty girl rock” by keri hilson. the very first time i heard it, i immediately took issue with it. this is the way i see it…
if you’re beautiful, lucky you. GOD made you that way. it’s no reason to hate you. pretty girls aren’t hated because they’re beautiful. if i could pay god to make everyone amazingly beautiful, then i would. it would just make walking around and seeing the world around me all the more aesthetically pleasing. i’ve known many many many beautiful girls who were, indeed, 100% sweethearts. so of course, there was no reason to hate them. that’s the good kind of pretty girl. now, on the other hand, there are pretty girls out there who get hated on… and the reason is because they are complete bitches. that’s the bad kind of pretty girl. the one you actually do hate.
now let’s start with the good pretty girl. she’s pretty and she knows she’s pretty. when someone compliments her on her looks, she says “thank you” and leaves it at that. when it’s been a while and you’re catching up, she doesn’t go on and on about all the guys that have been chasing her tail. she talks about other things- more important things. her favorite pictures aren’t solo shots of herself after a great makeover, they’re pictures of good times she’s had with friends and family. to her, looks are not everything. looks are just a plus. a plus that she happened to be blessed with.
and then there’s the bad pretty girl. yup, that bitch that you hate. you know, the girl who goes out thinking she doesn’t have to bring any cash because every guy that sees her will buy her a drink. she’s the one that’s pretty and knows she’s pretty and is definitely not shy to talk about how pretty she is. her main objective: finding girls who she can accuse of being jealous of her- so that she can show off just how envied she is, ultimately making herself feel even better… about herself. come on now. if you’re soooo remarkably beautiful, why go through all the trouble of accusing other girls of being jealous of you? stop telling everyone that “they’re jealous.” if they are jealous, just let them be. no need to draw excess attention to it: posting it on facebook, telling the first person you see, or for that matter writing a whole goddamn song about it, miss keri baby. (which my younger brother owen so ingeniously pointed out can be misunderstood as “miscarry baby.”) quite honestly, i think the only reason a pretty girl would accuse another girl of being jealous is because she does feel somewhat threatened by her. she’s got to attack her in some way. she’s got to make herself feel even better than that girl: so “not only is she not as pretty as me, but she’s jealous of me too!”
and as her secondary objective: find flaws in other people and point them out in any way possible whether it be making fun of them to others or just treating them like shit to their faces, again ultimately making herself feel even better… about herself.
god, you’re already pretty- just be thankful for that. why do you have to go about treating people like they’re not as good as you or talking badly about people so that rest of the world thinks they’re not as good as you? that’s why people hate you… you’re a goddamn evil witchasaurus rex.
she’s a bitch because she has to constantly stroke her own ego and the only other way for her to do that (aside from singing her own praises) is to make other people feel worse about themselves.
and so when it comes down to it, the big question of the night: “if she’s so amazingly and so obviously beautiful, then why does she go to such wicked extremes to make sure everyone knows it?”
… because she knows that she’s got her looks …but not a single thing more.